Welcome to our hilarious and historically dubious series, where I've exhumed some fierce ladies from the Wars of the Roses era for an exclusive text interview. LOLs through history? Absolutely. These medieval powerhouses have their gauntlets typing furiously as they dish out complaints about life, love, and the utter nuisance of hubbies with more ambition than sense.
Fireside Chats with Anne Neville
Moderator: Anne, how's your man Richard these days?
Anne 🥀: Dickie's gotten paranoid. Every shadow has him jumping like a cat. Thinks everyone’s after his throne. Maybe get better at making friends? Just a thought. 😬
Moderator: And the climate at court?
Anne 🥀: Oh, colder than a witch's you-know-what. Could cut the tension with a misericord. But hey, at least the tapestries look good. #SilverLinings
Moderator: Anne, any tips for navigating court drama?
Anne 🥀: Basically, keep your friends close and your potions closer. In this snake pit, you never know who's plotting your next 'accident.' Also, always have an escape plan for feasts. You're welcome. 😉
Texting with Elizabeth Woodville
Moderator: Lizzy, as the commoner queen, how's it hanging with the royal in-laws?
Elizabeth 👸: Oh, you know, just your typical Monday accusing me of witchcraft, and by Friday, asking for my secret to youthful skin. It's a wild ride but hey, who needs friends when you've got a crown?
Moderator: And navigating marriage with Edward IV?
Elizabeth 👸: It's like being hitched to a medieval rock star. The charm, the battles, the illegitimate children... never a dull moment. But he still makes me swoon. #KinglyCharms
Remember, readers, this is all in good jest. These women certainly aren't laughing from their portraits—but imagine if they could text!
Stay tuned as our 'interviews' might just include more timely complaints from timeless women through the scrolls of history. 😂 #MedievalTexts #TimeTravelTalks
(Note for context: This content is entirely fictional and created for entertainment purposes, blending modern humor with historical references.)
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